I hope all of you are sitting down for this..........I'm not Black Friday shopping this year.
There are a few reasons why I'm not. The main one is the fact that we are buying a house in 3 weeks. Merry Christmas to us and as a result, no gifts for anyone else.
Anyway. I'm really missing being at the mall with my mom and cousins. Black Friday is a serious event in which we buy all gifts for my grandmother to give as well as all gifts we give to others. I've been participating in extreme Black Friday shopping since 2001. I missed 2002 because I was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and I missed 2011 because we were in Gatlinburg (we still shopped the outlets at midnight, but keep reading and you'll see why that doesn't count).
Since we consider ourselves experts, I thought I would share our incredible knowledge gleaned from years of doing Black Friday the "Wright" way. See what I did there?
What Official Black Friday is not:
1. It is not showing up at JCPenney when it opens to buy a few pillows and go home to get back in bed.
2. It is not a day for shopping for yourself and seeing to it that you get the best deals on things for yourself.
3. Although many malls and stores open while it is still Thursday, Black Friday actually begins on Friday people. It begins at 4 AM at the earliest. Anytime before this is still considered Black Thursday shopping. Thursday is Thanksgiving. Enjoy time with your family. Go home and sleep. Wake up early. Shop on Friday.
4. It is not for those that consider shopping on Black Friday just a way to kill some time and browse the deals. Don't come if you treat this casually. You will only get in the way of those that have a game plan and shop strategically.
5. Contrary to popular belief, it is not camping outside of Best Buy or Walmart to be first in line for a great deal on a flat screen or some hot new toy for your kid.
6. It is not shopping anywhere but the Galleria (or another major indoor mall).
If you do any of these things, you are weak and untrained. And you'll be on my nerves if I run into you while shopping. And the look on my face and the things I say under my breath will make that obvious.
What Official Black Friday is:
1. It is an all day event. Beginning as early as 4 AM and ending at dinner time. The norm for us is 5 AM to 6 PM.
2. It is a day to shop for others. If you have a family like mine who still buys gifts for everyone (as opposed to drawing names and whatnot), Black Friday is an opportunity to tackle your entire gift list in one long day.
3. It is for those that have previously considered the deals, consulted the sales papers, and have a game plan. There is no time for meaningless wandering or hanging out with your significant other. Or strolling your baby. Please do us all a favor and leave the kids at home.
4. Because it is a day to tackle your gift buying for everyone on your Christmas list, there is no need to be part of the crazy crowd that waits outside for hours for the stores to open. That's just not worth the stress.
5. It is a day to eat coffee/breakfast at 5 AM at Starbucks, lunch at 9 or 10 AM at Chick fil A, and two snacks around 2 and 4 PM at Auntie Anne's and The Great American Cookie Company.
6. It is exclusive shopping at the Galleria (or another major indoor mall). If there is a gift that can only be bought at a store that is not inside the Galleria, you may still receive the gift but it will not be purchased on Black Friday. We don't leave the Galleria until it's time to go home. And at that point we don't want to go anywhere else but home.
If you are doing things this way, you will find great success in your shopping adventure and you won't find yourself in a fight with me at Auntie Anne's. I save my energy for arguments with those who aren't cut out for Black Friday.
How to Prepare for Black Friday: Once the kitchen is clean, then and only then may you pull out the sales papers. Everyone in the family that wants to receive gifts for Christmas must come to Thanksgiving prepared to provide a wish list. All wish lists are compiled and compared with the sales papers and a game plan is devised to ensure the most efficient and cost-effective way to purchase these gifts.
How to Debrief after Black Friday: Once the shopping is complete, head to your grandmother's house who has graciously pulled out all leftovers from Thanksgiving. Sit down. Eat. Breathe. Relax. Tell funny/frustrating stories from the day. Then unload the car. Sort gifts and explain to your grandmother what she bought for everyone. Go home and go to bed!
Of course, I say all of this with great sarcasm.
Or maybe I don't??? :)
Just consider yourself informed.