10.01.2012

Shots in the Butt and Trapped Gas

In light of yesterday's super serious post, I want to make you chuckle just a little if I can.

For the record, I got my first ever shot in the butt today. My entire lower back is in pain. Is this normal or am I a baby? And my heart has been racing ever since I left the doc office. On the upside, I am talking like a normal person now. Not like a whispering old man going through puberty. Which reminds me of this episode of Friends...



Now, on to the topic of discussion that causes multiple arguments in this merry little household.

Trapped Gas. Yes, I did just type that publicly. I can't believe it either.

Let's just get over our reserved selves and laugh together.

I'm not even going to attempt to describe to you what it is. So, I will resort to a reliable source: The Mayo Clinic.

Anything that causes intestinal gas or is associated with constipation or diarrhea can lead to gas pains. These pains generally occur when gas builds up in your intestines, and you're not able to expel it. On average, most people pass gas at least 10 times a day.

Built up gas that can't get out. Sounds like trapped gas, right?

Well, Brent does not believe in it. He thinks trapped gas is a big fat myth. Can we please get a Mythbusters episode to prove that it's true? If they can prove it, he'll believe it.

Because apparently me laying in bed burping incessantly and complaining of pain in my shoulder blades is not enough proof that I have gas that was trapped and is escaping with each belch.

Or maybe Brent should visit Las Higuerillas, Mexico for a week with the most awesomely unreserved people I know, eating unrefrigerated leftover spaghetti, authentic greasy Mexican food, and drinking water that may be contaminated with parasites, then gorging ourselves on the biggest burger Whataburger sells in celebration that we survived the heat, food, lack of electricity, lack of running water, and lack of plumbing for a week while living in tents on the sand.

{Aren't mission trips the BEST?!}

Then, maybe he'll know the enormous pain of trapped gas. If you are in denial too, it looks like the picture below. Can we please recreate this trip down to the very last detail?



Y'all, it's a real medical issue. It can cause pain up into your rib cage, back, and arms and make you feel like you're having a heart attack. 

It can happen when you are working out on the treadmill at the St. Vincent's fitness center and your left arm starts hurting. You get sent to the ER for a heart attack only to find out it's trapped gas. Yes, Brent, even the medical professionals claim trapped gas! 

And it can rush you to the ER in your turquoise t-shirt that hits just at your hips so that your hot pink panties can be seen and when the paramedic finally gives you medicine to relieve the REAL pain of trapped gas, you grab him by the collar and say "I love you" with every horrid particle of your 3am morning breath. 

Can I get a witness? Or is my mother the only other one that has experienced this? Because I really need your support to convince my in-denial husband that trapped gas is a reality. {Yes, I had her permission to tell her trapped gas stories. And I have another super embarrassing one to tell about that one time at the YMCA that has nothing to do with trapped gas...but I'll need extra permission for that one.} 

Trapped gas anyone?

1 comment:

Mom to 2 said...

Brittany. I laid in bed and belched my entire pregnancy with the twins. The end.

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