11.05.2008

In need of rest

And I don't mean a good nap, I mean spriritual rest. Quality time spent with my Father. Sit at His feet and treasure His every word. I won't say that I have too much on my plate, but I definitely have enough. This is not a blog of complaint. I 100% LOVE every thing I am doing and all that I am involved in--teaching Sunday school, teaching Bible study, teaching Kindergarten, finding a curriculum for LLCA, helping the youth on Wednesday nights, going home to see family, Bunko, etc. But lately it has consumed me and I have had no time to just be. I can not tell you the last time I sat down with nothing to do. I don't have time for TV (which I really haven't missed, except for Jon and Kate and The Office), no time to cook good meals, no time to check email, no time to blog, no time for Sanibel, no time for laundry, no time to clean the house, barely time to go grocery shopping--you get the point. Even my quiet times in the morning are interrupted because Sanibel needs to go outside or she wants me to play fetch. Brent and I signed up for Netflix in September so we won't pay late fees anymore. So far we've watched one movie and I fell asleep because I was so exhausted. I get up at 5:15 am, and go non-stop until 5:30 pm and by 9:00pm my body shuts down and is ready to crawl in the bed. In that short 3 1/2 hours I attempt house work, errands, quality time with Brent, play with Sanibel, cook dinner, clean up the kitchen, pay bills, balance the checkbook, make lunches for the next day, check email/blogs/facebook, etc. And that's only on days when I have nothing to do after work. Brent is a huge help around the house, but there is always something else to be done even with both of us knocking out the to-do list. Lately, I've had something to do every night of the week except Thursday. But, Thursday is no time for rest because I'm cleaning the house and doing laundry because we are going out of town Friday after work. We have gone out of town the past 3 weekends and this coming one will be our 4th. Like I said, I am not complaining. I'm not asking for sympathy. I know it may be hard to see it that way, but I'm just sharing what's on my heart. Completely open and honest. And I know that every one else in this world has their fair share of being busy. I am in no way trying to say that I'm the only one that has a lot to do and has to be in a million places at once. I just wonder if that is what we are made for? Am I meant to have to cram everything that matters to me in the 3 1/2 hours between getting home from work and going to bed?  I do love work and I am blessed with the most wonderful assistant, children and parents, but it's not what matters most to me. I feel like so many times, work just gets in the way of living life. I know that God created work and even Adam and Eve had to work the land, but is there ever time to rest? I know, you're thinking Sunday, the day of rest. But even weekends get busy and provide no time for rest. There is a new song called "Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly)" by Sanctus Real that I LOVE and can totally relate to. The lyrics are at the bottom of this post. But, my most favorite line is "Whatever you're doing inside of me, It feels like chaos somehow there's peace." That is how a feel right now--pure chaos. I know God is working and I find comfort in knowing that God is everlasting and either allows or causes everything that I am doing. But no matter how chaotic my life is, I do have peace. I know that the things that are keeping me busy are things that God has called me to do. If I had to give something up, I don't know what it would be. I just pray for rest--spiritual rest. I am tired and weary and need some quality time resting in the arms of my Savior. I imagine sitting on my daddy's lap in the recliner when I was little and rocking to sleep with my night gown on that said "My heart belongs to daddy."  Let me sit in Your lap and find rest, my heart belongs to you Father. Rid my of myself, rid me of this world. Let me be all that you created me to be. 

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

[Chorus]
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

[Chorus]

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out 
 

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