10.07.2008

The Definition of "Look"

Look: v., to use one's sight or vision in seeking, searching, examining, watching, etc
AKA something that men do not know how to do

First of all, I love playing Bunko. Actually, I love the fellowship with the other girls. When we first began to play together, we were very serious. We did not waste any time eating dinner because we were so excited to play Bunko! We are still excited to play, but the dinner conversations get longer and longer and the Bunko rounds get shorter and shorter. Tonight a few of us got to talking about how men can't find anything. I can't tell you how many times Brent has asked me where something is and all I have to do is look for it and it's right there. When we first got married and were moving all over the place, packing and unpacking boxes, Brent always assumed I was hiding things from him when he couldn't find something (he still does). There is a pair of black shorts he likes to wear around the house and he could never find them. His only assumption was that I hid them from him...I guess as a joke or something? He is always asking me where his pants are, where his shoes are, where the milk is, where the spaghetti noodles are...I mean, it could really be anything. And it never fails, if he would just look (see definition above) for them he would find them. Here is my theory based on my own experience--and men that read this, if I am wrong please correct me--when men go to look for something, if it is not straight in front of them without moving or touching anything, it must be misplaced, lost or hidden by the wife. For example, if a man goes into his closet to find a pair of pants, he expects to see them as soon as he opens the closet door. He shouldn't have to move any other articles of clothing or even move his feet or eyes. He should be able to see the pants from where he is standing. It's as if he expects the pants to jump off the hangar, walk out of the closet and say, "Have you been looking for me?" If this does not happen, the man comes to his wife and asks, "Do you know where my pants are?" And the wife walks to the closet, maybe moves a few other pairs of pants over, and gets the pants. The husband acts very surprised as if she has performed a miracle and says, "Where did you find those?" And the wife responds, "In the closet, " but is really thinking, "COME ON, did you even look, dufus?" 
Ok now that I have been a little mean, I need to brag on Brent (who agrees with everything in this blog). I have been very busy the past week with all kinds of stuff and Brent has been doing all the housework...cleaning, cooking, laundry. I do have the best husband in the world, even if he can't find ANYTHING! 

2 comments:

smilstead said...

Ok....as a nurse, mother and wife for 18 years, what you need to realize is that all women have an internal homing device also known as a uterus! As you know, men did not come equipped with this internal homing device. Hence, the reason for always referring to the female counterpart for "homing" in on whatever it is he needs.

drew said...

Totally on! I even use it on other guys to help them look more. "Rod, are you looking like a guy or a girl?... you have to look like a girl or you won't find it!" But, like it's a unchanging disposition or something, I always catch myself in mid ask, "Where is...." *thinks "Wait!! Look some more, move something." And I usually find it :).

But I have to admit, my pants have not yet walked out and asked me, "Have you been looking for me?" But guaranteed I'm still waiting for that to happen!

Funny Funny Post, I was lol'in!

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